HGTV is television for the devil, let’s not kid ourselves. It’s as bad, if not worse, than the Food Network, in that once you start watching it becomes increasingly difficult to tune into anything else. I believe the reason for this is that the programming is all very viewer-friendly, and the projects that the folks on these shows undertake look painlessly easy and inexpensive (it’s worth noting that any time you see a cost calculated on an HGTV show, such as Design to Sell, they don’t include the actual labor fees, only the materials).
Hell, I don’t own a house and for the last three weeks I’ve had a sudden and overwhelming urge to build a deck.
The other problem is that the tools that are used in some shows are just so damned cool that I can’t help but try and justify a reason to go buy one. Take, for example, the auto feed screwdriver, a technological amalgam of one part screwdriver, one part minigun, and all awesome. If you’ve never seen one, imagine a drill with an oversize trigger guard and a forward magazine that loads BELT-FED SCREWS onto the tip of the screwdriver.
When the contractors hired by the Galactic Empire to construct the first and second Death Star were brought on the job, they were no doubt issued these tools to complete a project that massive. Not only that, but can someone please tell me how a device this seemingly perfect is not used to fight crime?
The beauty part of all this, they’re not terribly expensive. For between $150-$300, you too can own a machine-gun screwdriver, and believe me when I tell you that I intend to buy one. Like I said above, I don’t have a house yet, but my wife and I have been looking for a little over a month now, and we’re planning on having something by the year’s end, so it won’t be a wasted purchase. I’m sure that with a new house comes plenty of opportunity to screw things.
No, not like that. Sinner.
